Random IZ Thing

Okay, yeah, this is going to be a really weird story so I hope you're prepared for it! Just a little taste of some of the most RANDOM stuff that flies through my possibly insane and high school corrupted mind. So with that's being said, let us begin!

     "Okay Zim, you ready?" Purple asked, holding a microphone.
     "Yes I am," Zim replied, also holding a microphone. Half of the communications screen was black and words were starting to scroll up it. Music was playing.
     "Now wait, I'm first."
     "Which lines are mine? The blue ones?"
     "No, you're red, I'm blue!"
     The words started highlighting.
     "I can show you the world," Purple sang. "Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me princess; now when did you last let your heart decide? I can open your eyes; take you wonder by wonder. Over, sidways, and under on a magic carpet ride! A WHOLE NEW WORLD! A new fantastic point of view! No one to tell us 'no', or where to go, or say we're only dreaming..."
     "A WHOLE NEW WORLD!" Zim sang, jumping onto a chair. "A dazzling place I never knew! But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you!"
     "A whole new world with you," Purple agreed.
     "Unbelievable sights!" Zim went on, now thoroughly enjoying himself. "Indescribable feeling! Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling through an endless diamond sky! A whole new world! A hundred thousand things to see! I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far; I can't go back to where I used to be... Every turn a surprise!"
     "New horizons..."
     "Every moment red-letter! I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare, let me share this whole new world with you..."
     "A whole new world..."
     "That's where we'll be."
     "A thrilling chase..."
     "A wondrous place..."
     Together, they sang the final line, "For you and me..."
     The karaoke ended and the two cheered. (Notice Zim did Jasmine's parts, LOL! I had to make him kinda uke at some point! He can't always be seme and besides, Purple is my favorite character!)
     "That was so fun!" Purple shouted, throwing the microphone and hitting someone in the head.
     "I know, that was a great idea!" Zim agreed.
     "That was so gay!" Red yelled, hovering over. "Zim, you were flat for most of it, and Purple... do I even have to say? You were high, you were so high!"
     "What are you talking about? The last shipment of weed was over a month ago, it's all gone by now." Yeah, Purple loves getting high and then taking the Massive for joy rides through fields of asteroids, since it's fun and stuff.
     "Sharp, that's what I meant. You were too sharp!"
     "Well, I didn't know you were totally into me."
     "No, I- gah!" Red facepalmed. "Why must you be so stupid?"
     "Why do you have to be so mean? Come on Zim, let's cheer him up. Let's sing him a song!"
     "No, don't sing."
     "Here's a little song I wrote... you might wanna sing it note by note-"
     "Shut up."
     "Don't worry!"
     "Pur! Zim!"
     "Be happy! Don't worry, be happy now!" The two started laughing at Red's severely ticked off face.
     "Wow, Zim, I used to think you were just an annoying little pipsqueak, but you're pretty fun," Purple commented.
     "Thank you, my Tallest."
     Red picked up a soda and threw it at the screen, breaking it in half.
     "Oh, that was nice," Purple said, irritated.

     "Uh, my Tallests?" Zim asked, waving his hands in front of a now-staticky screen. "Oh well. I must find something else to do now! GIR!"
     GIR fell from the ceiling. "Hi!"
     "Why do you always fall from the ceiling? Could this show get any more freakin' cliche?"
     "What's clee-shay?"
     "Never mind. GIR, I'm bored. Give me ideas for what I could do with this wonderful Earth Saturday morning when it's the middle of Earth summer and it's about a hundred degrees out there."
     "LET'S HAVE A PARTY!" GIR screamed.
     "A party? Is it painful?"
     "No, it's fun! We can invite all your friends! Like the big-headed boy and his scary sister!"
     "The Dib? He's no friend of mine!"
     "But if you invite him over you might get to destroy him."
     "Let's throw a party!" While they were walking back from the store with their arms full of party stuff, Zim suddenly realized how stupid that saying was. "Why do they say 'let's throw a party'? How do you throw something like that? Just grab the table and toss it out the window? Throw all the party guests out the window when it's over? Ooh, that sounds like fun, we should that."
     They went back into their cool house. While GIR put up banners that announced "PARTY!" all over the place and tied up balloons, Zim put out snacks and soda. He checked his "Parties for Dummies" book and put out some dip to go with the chips.
     He stood back and grinned evilly. "There. It would lure any filthy worm-baby in. Into my trap! Computer! E-Mail the Dib and tell him he and his sister are invited to my party! And make sure you use words like, 'cool' and 'sweet' and 'FREAKIN EPIC DUDE!' because children his age are drawn in by words like that."
     "Whatever," Computer replied, sounding bored as usual.
     A few minutes later, Dib tried to enter the house by doing an epic jump-kick, you know like in those old action movies where the good guy kicks in the door to where the bad guy is hiding? Anyway, Dib did that and failed, bouncing off the door.
     Gaz paused her game and opened the door with the knob, OMG, how did she do that?! SHE'S A TOTAL GENIUS!"
     Dib got up and ran inside, stopping in front of Zim. "This better not be some kind of crazy plan to destroy all hu- ooh, Doritos." He took some chips from the table and shoved them into his mouth. Licking his cheesy fingers off, he said, "By the way Zim, there's something I need to tell you. Something that'll make our fangirls very happy."
     "What are you talking about? Those leeches are never happy."
     "Well they will be once I kiss you and the author of this story finishes the very detailed and passionate kiss scene."
     "That might work. Brilliant idea. Let's do it!"
     "Yay!"
     "But just so you know, it's only to get the fangirls off our backs. I still hate you."
     "I still hate you too, you jerk." Dib pulled Zim toward him, wrapping his arms around the alien's waist and moving his face close. He stared at the red-pink eyes as he got closer. They were really pretty. They were locked onto his eyes as well, somewhat interested in the unusual gold color hidden behind the glasses.
     Zim decided to make this more convincing (are you glued to your screens yet, fangirls?) and put his arms around Dib, locking them around the boy's back and reaching up to dig his claws into the raven hair. Their lips were barely a centimeter apart and they could feel and smell the warm breath of the other.
     "You two are so gay," Gaz muttered, but it was obvious she was totally enjoying the show, oh yes.
     The two finally let their lips meet.
     (FANGIRL RAVE W00T! GO EAT ICE CREAM AND SING HALLELUJAH BECAUSE ZIM AND THE DIB JUST KISSED!)
     Of course, once they had a taste of each other, they wanted more. Neither has gotten any action before, so of course they were totally into it even though they were both male. But who cares? This is fanfiction.
     "Fanfiction? No! THIS... IS... SPARTA!"
     WTF.
     "Shut up!" I yell at the weird beirded guy with a sword standing in my room. He leaves all sad and junk and so I go back to writing this crazy story.
     Wanting more, oh, so much more, Zim pushed Dib against a wall and ripped his trench coat off (O_o oh mai) enabling him to slip a hand under the boy's shirt and up his back, raking his claws across the bare skin and drawing blood. The other hand was on Dib's chest, holding him against the wall with ease.
     The human let out a moan of longing, hands clawing desperately at the irken's back, wanting the kiss to go deeper. This really wasn't about the fangirls now. This was just about the two of them. They really wanted to make out now. Zim is just that sexy, after all, and poor Dib is just that lonely.
     Gaz took out her cell phone and dialed a certain number. "Hello? It's me, Gaz. I think you might like this stuff going on right in front of me. ...Oh yeah. Males. ...One's a 159-year-old alien and the other's my 12-year-old human brother. So can you... hello?" The phone at the other end had clicked. Before she had time to be mad at being hung up on, a bear jumped through the wall and landed next to her.
     Behold!
     IT WAS PEDOBEAR OH NOES!
     I scream in a high-pitched voice and in fangirl delight at how my story is going so far. This is truly a masterpiece. (snivels) I deserve an award for this. Some llamas maybe? Or a scene drawn from it? But ooh, story must wait, because... I SMELL CORN MUFFINS! (Darts away from computer screen)
     ...Please stand by, the author of this story is taking a break for delicious muffins and shall be back momentarily...
     I'm back now, yay! I have a corn muffin with butter, some Hamburger Helper, green beans, and grape soda. And there's a five day weekend ahead so things really can't get much better. NOW BACK TO THE GAYNESS!
     PedoBear joined Gaz in watching the incredibly hot, gay xenophilia taking place in front of them. Did I mention how hot it was? No? Well, it was hot.
     Zim was keeping Dib pinned against the wall, still digging his claws into the boy's back while kissing him. He wondered briefly if this was enough for the fangirls and decided it'd just be safer to go French. He snaked his thin tongue into Dib's mouth without invitation, finding and strangling the human's flat, wide tongue.
     Dib couldn't help it; he moaned pretty loudly and obviously.
     "That's sexy," Gaz commented. "There's nothing girls like more than two dudes making out."
     PedoBear elbowed her. "PedoBears like it too."
     "I know you do." Gaz walked past the groping and Frenching pair and stole a can of soda from the table. Then she got herself a hotdog (it was still a party after all) and started a conversation with the popular Internet meme bear.
     After getting his fill of the Dib, Zim pulled back, licking his lips. "Fangirl threat neutralized." He let go of the human.
     Dib pretty much sank to his knees, eyelids lowered and expression blissful. "That. Was. Awesome."
     Oh yeah. There you go, fangirls. You mooches. They totally French kissed. Oh yes, tongues all wrapped around each other's and panting and moaning... imagine it in your head as hot as possible (while still keeping them clothed, sorry) and that's totally what it looked like.
     "That was fun," Gaz commented, finishing her hotdog and picking up a bag of chips. "And just so you know, I recorded it and I'm going to be putting it up on YouTube, okay?"
     "That's fine," Zim said, sweeping Dib toward him with an arm and pinning the human to his side. "People shall be envious of the Dib. Because we all know that everyone wants to make out with ZIM!"
     "Maybe I want to make out with Zim," Gaz replied.
     Zim just looked at her. "Eh... no. You look like you could kill me just by thinking about it. So no making out for you!"
     "Then in that case I'm going home. The so-called party was lame other than the making out." Stealing a box of pizza, Gaz left.
     "Hey, can you spot me a twenty so I can take a cab home?" PedoBear asked.
     Zim just looked at him, eye twitching, then yelled, "GET OUT OF HERE!"
     "Okay." The bear flew out the nearest window leaving behind only a trail of rainbows and sparkles. Like Edward Cullen, HA! DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, DID YA, TWIFANS?!
     Zim sighed and shook his head, muttering about Earth and its crazy memes. Then he said, "GIR, do whatever you want with this party stuff. I need to speak to the Dib in private." He clenched Dib's arm tightly and dragged him over to the nearest elevator.
     "Okie-dokie," GIR said, totally oblivious to what would most likely happen downstairs.
     Zim smirked and shoved Dib into the trash can, jumping in after him and falling down into the lower base.
     "Okay, what's going on?" Dib asked nervously.
     "I decided that the fangirls need more convincing and that I don't want to wait till you're older to jump you. After all, what do I care for human rules?" Zim lunged at the human, who gave a shout of surprise and tried to get away. There was just no point in trying, though. Zim always got what he wanted.