Defective Ch.2

Chapter 2
Not All that Different

At those words, Zim slapped Dib's hand away again, opening his mouth to furiously reply. But before he could, the full effect of what the human had said hit him, and in a startling flash he realized it was true. They had abandoned him. His Tallests had said so themselves. He really was alone here. He closed his mouth and turned away, staring at the wall through watery eyes. He wouldn't dare cry. Not here in front of the human.
"But you're not alone here," Dib said, seeming to read the irken's mind.
Zim didn't look at him. "What are you talking about?"
"We have more in common than you think."
"You speak lies, vile hyuman."
"Think about it. Both of us are outcasts among our own kind. No one likes us or even associates with us unless they have to. In my case, my father and sister talk to me but only occasionally. And with you… your Tallests don't like to but they will sometimes talk to you. Other than that, though, we're both alone."
"The Tallests? You mean those fools Red and Purple? They don't even talk to me anymore! They blocked my communication signal! I couldn't even hack my way into the flight deck's computers to talk to them! They don't deserve to be Tallest! I'm far more deserving than they'll ever be!"
"Okay, okay, calm down. But hey, I talk to you, right? I'm doing it right now."
"You're just trying to talk me into not destroying mankind."
"Because it will come to no gain. You destroy everything and they'll probably take the planet, but they'll kill you. You'll get no credit. Is that really what you want?"
Zim gaped at him. How could he possibly know what the Tallests had said? Unless… he figured it out on his own. Weren't humans supposed to be stupid?
Knowing now that he got Zim's attention with his insight, Dib went on, "We're both aliens to each other. But the way I see it, we may be from two totally different places, but deep down we're the same. We want attention. We want to be loved. We want to be the best, because in our minds, we are the best."
"You're the best in your mind? Huh, and I always thought you were the humble savior of the Earth," Zim said teasingly.
"Yeah, well, I'm obviously so much smarter than everyone else. Except my dad, of course. Or Gaz." Dib trailed off, and if Zim didn't have such sensitive antennae, he would have missed the next two words. "…Or you."
Zim stared at him. Was the human actually admitting that he, the mighty Zim, was the more intelligent one? It was true, of course, but hearing the Dib actually confess to it was shocking. "So you finally admit it. Of course I'm smarter than you."
"Yeah, well, you're much vainer than me too."
"Zim deserves to be vain."
"See, this is the attitude I like to see. You're vain and boastful but not very violent. You're least likely to claw me or try to stab my eyes out when you're being all proud of yourself."
"Would you like me to stab your eyes out?"
"No."
"Darn. That would have been fun."
"Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is we have a lot in common. We don't have to be enemies. And if you really aren't an Invader… well, you could stop trying to destroy Earth."
"I could try. But my defective PAK…"
"We'll find a way to fix it."
"How?"
Dib didn't think about it; he grabbed Zim's gloved hands and held them between his, looking into the magenta eyes. "Zim. Listen to me. We will find a way to fix this problem."
Zim looked down at the large hands holding his small clawed ones as though amazed. He stared at them for several moments, transfixed. Most of the time when Dib touched him in any way (punching, kicking, tugging on antennae), it was associated with pain. But this strange holding of the hands wasn't painful. It was almost… comforting.
He looked up at Dib and smiled. "All right. But I'm holding you to that promise. If you don't keep it then the consequences will be dire."
"I bet." Dib let go of Zim's hands when he realized he was holding them. He looked back at the TV, feeling a little awkward, and then looked back. "Try not to kill anyone anymore, okay?"
"But I can't stop myself! I keep yelling at myself to not attack, to stay at home, but I always find myself going out and murdering any random human who crosses my path. Everyone. It's horrible… Dib… I've killed children."
Dib repressed a shudder at that statement and looked away. "Okay, just try to relax. When do these urges tend to happen?"
"They've been happening for over a year, but as time passes they get more and more frequent. It used to be just once a month, then it turned into weekly attacks, then nightly… I'm losing control. This is why the empire disposes of my kind. We're dangerous. You shouldn't even be near me. It's a miracle I haven't killed any of the children at Skool."
"I don't think you'll attack me."
"I will… Dib, I can't believe I'm saying this, but if I ever go into one of my furies… if I lose control… get away. I…" He seemed to have to struggle to say the next words. "I don't want you to die. Not when you're the only one who has ever wanted to be around me."
Dib stared at him for the longest time. It was so strange hearing the once-proud and superior irken admitting that he actually wanted to be with his enemy. Maybe he really was going crazy. Whatever was going wrong with his PAK seemed to be making him calm, mellow, and almost sentimental. He wasn't yelling at all either, another startling change.
"All right. If you do something crazy and I can't stop you, I'll get away," Dib said at last. "But I'm going to do all I can to get you back to normal. I'm still Earth's protector, you know. And I won't be doing my job very well if people are getting killed by a psychotic alien."
Zim nodded and looked away. His claws clenched for a moment, then loosened. He blinked a few times, antennae flattening back.
Dib noticed the odd movements. "Are you okay?"
Zim nodded but didn't look too sure. "Of course I am." After a second of thought, he added, "Inferior hyuman."
"Well I may be an 'inferior hyuman' but we can still be friends. I just don't see a reason for us not to be."
"Invaders need no friends."
"But you're not an Invader. You're just an alien stranded on an alien planet now. But hey, at least there's someone there who cares about you. Even if no one will believe him when he tells others what you are."
"It must be frustrating."
"Very. But I've gotten used to it by now." After a few moments, Dib said, "Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit… stressed."
Zim nodded quickly. His hands were clenched into tight fists now and he was shaking without realizing it. "Of course. Zim is okay. He er… he just needs a drink, that's all." He jumped up and ran to the kitchen.
Dib shrugged and looked down at GIR, just now remembering that the robot has been sitting here the entire time on his lap. "So GIR, um… has your master been acting strange lately?"
GIR slowly took his thumb out of his mouth and looked at Dib. "Yeah, he comes home all covered in blood and I always gets scared, I tells him that it's not nice to hurt people but he won't listen. He always looks so mean and it scares me. It scares me so much. He goes down to his lab for a little bit and comes back looking all better, but then he sometimes hugs me and cries. I hugs him back and tells him to stop crying, that I can get him tacos and piggies, and I think it cheers him up a little bit. But I don't like it when Master hurts people and gets all sad. I want him to get better. Can big-headed boy make Master all better?"
Surprised by how much GIR had to tell him, it took Dib a few moments to respond. Then he said, "Oh, yeah, I'm going to try. I don't like it when he's hurts people either. And I definitely don't want him sad. It's just not normal."
GIR nodded. "He used to laugh and talk about doom all the time, but now he always ignores me except for when he's sad, then he'll come talk to me and I'll hug him and try to cheer him up.  He doesn't talk as much as he used to. He talked more today than I've heard him talk before." GIR smiled. "He likes talking to you. You are really good friends. I think Master needs more friends. Then maybe he won't be so sad all the time. Maybe I can show him my piggy friend. Then he might get happy. I really want him to be happy."
"I know you do, GIR. I want him to be happy too." Dib looked up as Zim came back into the room holding a can of soda, clutching it tightly.
He sank onto the couch next to the human and didn't look at him, instead taking a drink. "I have returned." His eye twitched.
Dib pretended not to notice. "I was just talking to GIR. He said that he doesn't like it when you're sad and he doesn't like you going out and hurting people. It really scares him when you come home covered in blood. So I told him I'm going to help you out."
"Oh. All right." Zim looked at GIR instead of Dib. "I'm sorry if I scare you sometimes GIR. I'm trying to stop doing it. But it's out of my control."
"I hope you get all better," GIR said sadly, patting Zim's knee.
"Me too, GIR," Zim sighed. He took another drink and his hand trembled, nearly spilling it.
"You know your hand is shaking, right?"
"Hmm?" Zim looked at his hand with surprise, then shrugged and pretended to ignore it. But in truth it worried him. Don't go crazy… you can't here… not with Dib and GIR so close… It was hard resisting the urge to claw the nearby human up a bit.
"Okay, stay calm." Dib took the hand between his, holding it still. When he released it, it had stopped shaking.
Zim cast him a look of hidden gratitude that he would never actually admit to feeling. Then he leaned back, snuggling into the couch cushion, and started watching TV like GIR was doing.
Dib watched the irken carefully for any signs of insanity. If it came on as quickly as Zim said it did, then he wouldn't have much time to prepare and save himself before the attack. But when Zim remained calm, antennae lowered to show rare inner peace, Dib found it easier to relax too. He wasn't sure if he could fix whatever was wrong with the irken… but he was certainly going to try.
It got later and later, but Zim never showed any signs of fatigue. He continued to stare at the TV long after GIR had decided to go to bed. Dib was getting very tired but he didn't want to leave. Not with the condition the alien was in. He wanted to make sure he didn't run off in the middle of the night to kill someone else.
"Dib, if you're tired, then just go. I don't think I'll be attacking anyone else tonight. I'm thinking of shutting down for the rest of the hours until sunrise. The mood swings never come during the day, so if I can make it until morning I'll be fine."
"You can do that, but I'm staying here to watch you."
"What's the point? You couldn't stop me."
"But I could talk some sense into you perhaps. You seem to listen to me."
"Do whatever you wish. But don't force yourself to stay awake if you're tired. You humans seem to need sleep and you can't function without it."
"I've gone without sleep many times before. It's not that hard." Dib still found himself yawning and closing his eyes for long periods of time before snapping them open again and forcing them to stay open. They started drooping again. The words on the TV and the images all seemed to blur together and he leaned close to the source of warmth sitting next to him.
Zim's antennae shot up at the human leaning against him but he didn't shove him away like he normally would. There was no point. He didn't really hate the Dib and needed his help. So what was the harm in letting the creature get a little close to him? He shifted his arm to accommodate the larger being, putting it around the human's waist without much thought. He felt Dib rest his head on his shoulder. His entire body language spoke of weariness.
"Just go to sleep. I promise not to attack anyone," Zim said, patting the scythe lock of hair on top of Dib's head. It was always fascinating to him. So much like an antenna but so different. The human got no sensation from it when it was touched. It wasn't used for hearing. It was just dead keratin such as what could be found in fingernails. A useless adornment.
Still, it was strangely relaxing to run his claws through the black strands and think about little else. His mind was unusually calm right now. There wasn't a single violent, bloodthirsty order from his PAK. Something about this human kept him calm… but what was it?
Deep, even breathing caught his attention; Dib had already fallen asleep leaning against him. He rolled his eyes at how quickly humans fall asleep (and how vulnerable they are during sleep) and rested his chin on top of Dib's head. He could have stayed awake for a long period of time, but he didn't want to risk hurting anyone. He ordered his PAK to shut down until sunrise.
It did. His last thought before losing consciousness was, At least it still obeys some orders…